Toylet Toilet Review. We live in a world full of brand-new innovations, where researchers and inventors are making an incredible effort to make sure that every single device resembles the only thing that humans hate the most: other humans. Either way, those responsible for discovering how far technological advancements can go, were naturally the ones with the incredible ability to make literally anything become weird and uncomfortable (and nope, this is not 2009’s Lady Gaga): I’m talking about the Japanese.
Kimyona, a multinational enterprise dedicated to the research and manufacture of innovative technological products located in Tokyo, launched a new invention that will change the concept of technological boundaries: the TOYLET, a new generation of intelligent toilets.
This completely extravagant and sophisticated invention makes it evident that there are more aspects of life that we can innovate and disrupt. While many thought that the idea of turning some existing products into an advanced version of themselves would have ended after the creation of intelligent watches and sex robots, others seek to push the boundaries and idealize innovation as something even better.
The brand new TOYLET might seem like the cusp of tastelessness, but it offers such a wide range of features that will completely blow your mind. At the very least, it will capture your curiosity.
This completely unnecessary device guarantees a complete transformation of your bathroom experience. The TOYLET works with a sophisticated operative system in which you can tinker with the settings and give it a personality of your preference. It is smart in more ways than one. First, you have the opportunity to interact and command its functions by voice. Besides the already known usage of a conventional toilet, the TOYLET gives you the chance to play music on streaming, enjoy a wide range of games, and it even contains a karaoke mode that goes perfectly with your shower time, amongst many other applications.
As it appears to be a regular and standard toilet, the main attraction behind the TOYLET is in choosing and designing its personality, all by yourself. Similar to other artificial intelligence devices, you can adjust certain traits, such as its voice, or its sense of humor. Also, there is a list of options to set it up in a way in which your brand-new TOYLET will react to anyone who requests to use your bathroom.
For example, you can give it the voice of Donald Trump to greet a Mexican guest, making it easier for him or her to evacuate; or you can use Scarlett Johansson’s voice to complement your pals’ equipment when they’re taking a pee. In other instances, if you want to fool around with those visiting your bathroom for the first time, you can program it to play out loud mice sounds suddenly.
Furthermore, the TOYLET adapts its given personality traits to its owner’s. Single men in their 40’s, for example, are received by a caring toilet that asks them about their day, and talks about the advantages of not having a stable job or a family. Nonetheless, the TOYLET’s functions are not limited to recreation, but it also has a handful of incredible health-care features incorporated within it. People who suffer constipation get a toilet that will act as a motivational coach, fiercely encouraging and supporting the user’s efforts to quite literally push through the strenuous ordeal. There will be unquestionably awkward, but undeniably effective results.
For better or worse, the TOYLET has not seen substantial success when it comes to projected global sales.
The CEO of Kimyona, John Waters, had a few words on the matter: “I just don’t get it. This was the obvious step to follow after the creation of the new iPhone, or the Tesla vehicles. We gave people the only thing that everyone always wanted: a friend that doesn’t mind about taking our crap, but we were the ones who received it. But it’s okay, we’ll keep working on it. Maybe this concept is not intimate enough.”
Nevertheless, the company has maintained itself in the green thanks to the regular donations made by R. Kelly, who claims that he is “happier than ever” because of his TOYLET. He particularly enjoys the fact that it talks to him the voice of a young admiring 15-year-old girl every time he goes to pee.
The people from Kimyona indeed demonstrate that maybe the TOYLET is just another step in the evolutionary chain that will end in a future with an A.I half toilet and half war machine, that will travel back in time to 1984 to flush down Sarah Connor.
On the other hand, we must recognize that with the creation of this innovative product, the Japanese focused and cared about a topic that no other company thought about before, becoming the undisputed pioneers of something extraordinary, just as they did with their practice of eating live squids.
Verdict: A nice toilet, and a nicer wife. Don’t think twice about getting a brand new TOYLET. Don’t over analyze it, there’s no need to think about it many more times before buying one.
Give it a try, say welcome to this sophisticated toilet, and use it to discuss our future as a human race!
Quit your pondering on a regular toilet. Upgrade to a TOYLET today.