Manual Escalator Review. Do you want to look strong, but feel that modern society is designed to keep you weak? Do you think you can take better advantage of your day and exercise your muscles without going to the gym? Are you one of those people who believes that escalators weaken us as a society? Well, we hear you. Guess what? We have the solution. No longer will you have to worry about these problems. Manual escalators are already here, and they will stay forever.
In 1987 the world changed, and what was known as “going out and walking” would begin to have a new meaning. Since the invention of escalators, humans would stop working our bodies to go to higher places pushing us into becoming sedentary people in the system. But everything’s not lost. Thanks to the brand-new Manual Escalators ©, you will look fabulous while doing your daily routine.
This fantastic invention combines the functionality of classic escalators, and improves it entirely by adding the feature of promoting physical effort. At everyone’s sight, it looks like a regular escalator. Still, the difference is a crank that is going to be placed on every step. You will turn it as fast as you can to operate the entire system, giving the tedious and straightforward process of using automatic escalators a 180° degree change.
What does this mean for you? That means no more excuses for not seeing yourself in shape. Manual Escalators © are a solution for exercising anywhere: while shopping in the mall, on the way to your office, visiting your mother-in-law in her building, sunbathing on a beach, you can find them everywhere.
By moving the crank, you’ll activate a mechanism that moves the escalator, forcing you to use a large number of muscles in your body. And don’t worry, being all sweaty is not a problem. Creators of the Manual Escalator placed towels with your favorite scents at the end of the road, which you can always buy at an affordable price.
During research conducted by the Manual Escalator’s creators, 10 out of 10 people preferred a regular escalator to move around places, quoting motives such as “comfortability” and “not being stupid” as the main reasons behind this decision. After using the Manual Escalator for a while and receiving a nice payment, subjects absolutely loved using this technology, expressing their love for exercise and their willingness to do any other study as the main reasons behind their change of mind.
According to the Manual Escalator’s creators, several models have been created for everyone’s taste, as they do not want you to be the joke of people on the street. You don’t want to be the guy that transforms into a person with strong arms but skinny legs. The Manual escalator will allow you to change the standard crank system for a pedal one for only $199.99. That means that you’ll never skip legs day again.
Scottie Pippen, legendary NBA player, tested the Manual Escalator and expressed his anger over the late release of this product, saying that “if only you motherf*#%s created this thing 30 years ago, I could’ve been way better than Michael Jordan”. After hearing such declarations, Jordan said that he took Pippen’s statements personally and came out from his retirement to play both basketball and baseball again at the same time. Fans all over the world are going crazy as both use the Manual Escalators as their primary training device, and the Chicago Bulls step into another year of Michael Jordan angrily yelling and dominating his teammates for no reason. According to Forbes Magazine, due to the fantastic reception, Manual Escalators are being installed to be used in very unconventional places. These places include stadium stands, McDonald’s drive-bys, swimming and pool ladders. The creators of the Manual Escalators will never stop expanding their horizons to please their Luddite customers and make an absurd amount of money.
Moreover, the Manual Escalators are entirely sustainable and ecological. Their process minimizes the use of electricity and emissions of CO2, making it a completely viable option to make a difference and save the Planet. That’s right: you’re not only exercising, but also being a hero for yourself, and the entire Planet, and the Manual Escalators. They’ll be buying yet another Bugatti for themselves with their increasing product revenues.
Verdict: a product that allows you to stay in shape while also saving the Planet and bringing back Michael Jordan is not only a mere invention of capitalism, it’s maybe the most significant thing that has happened to humanity since Netflix. Don’t lose the opportunity to exercise and be a hero for your family. Request the installation of a brand-new Manual Escalator © today.
Warning: The manual escalator does not allow the use of wheelchairs.