Covid19 Armor Review. The year 2020 will be remembered for a great number of things, and the latest Green Day’s album release will surely not be one of these. The coronavirus pandemic has killed thousands and has forced everyone around the world to stay inside their homes, stopping any sight of regular activity. Of course, just as in the most dramatic point of a movie, the world has been desperately claiming to save them.
That’s when a brilliant mind thought: “what would Tony Stark do?”. “A laughable idea” was the reaction of some people, and “why not just a vaccine?” the words of others, but the team behind the CoFighter-19 -a hi-tech armor entirely based on the Iron Man suit, designed ultimately to protect the user against COVID-19- simply said “why the f*ck not?”.
The CoFighter-19 is a stainless-steel armor equipped with Artificial Intelligence that helps the user operate all of its functions. To avoid any resemblance with J.A.R.V.I.S -the operating system of Iron Man’s armor- the one inside the CoFighter-19 was named Jarvis 2. The suit is armed with different tools to help people protect against the virus, without following the silly and extremely simple protocol of staying home and avoiding crowds. The limitations on the CoFighter-19 usage are only limited by your imagination, as well as your local laws.
The palms of the armor’s hands are loaded with canyons of antibacterial gel with different kinds of essences, such as lime, lavender, and the wonderful scent of strawberry. This gel can eliminate up to 99% of germs and kill one-out-of-every twenty people if they get shot at in the head -but why would you shoot antibacterial gel to someone’s head, right? Haha… Come on-. This function is perfect for preventing people from greeting you with deadly handshakes, and is also very useful to fill large containers of the same antibacterial gel.
The hands are also covered with indestructible steel able to resist high temperatures, fire, and bullets, but not germs, so you still have to wash your hands when you take your suit off. The CoFighter-19 system is capable of measuring the distance between other people and you, and if someone gets too close, the suit pushes them off automatically. The kind of push will vary on the aggressiveness level set up: from slight touch on level 1 to a flying kick at level 10.
In case you get to be suddenly surrounded by a crowd, the suit will activate an option that creates an electromagnetic wave that will push everyone around you at least six feet from you. It is possible that this function can cause injuries, wounds, or contusions to those around you, but there is no chance you will contract COVID-19.
The mind behind the concept, design, and marketing of the Cofighter-19 is Abdel Rashid Omais, an Arab Prince who also founded COOL-SE-LESS, the company responsible for the manufacturing and sales of the suit.
Abdel, far from being an extravagant mysterious genius who wants to explore the boundaries of science in benefit of humanity, is actually just a multimillionaire geek, a living person with the biggest comic collection in the world. He’s the only person who has seen Iron Man 3 twice. According to his version, he imagined the opportunity of Iron Man fighting Coronavirus in the middle of an epiphany while watching The Avengers 2.
“I just want to make this very, very clear. Helping people was just the second priority. The first reason that motivated me to put this project on work is way more personal, more touching. I wanted to do this because I thought it would make me look really, really, really cool. I don’t even think that many people will buy one, since it is indeed very expensive”, were the exact words from Abdel Rashid Omais when he presented the first model available.
Many different rich personalities have started to use their CoFighter-19, including the electronic music duo Daft Punk, who already ordered a dozen of customized models; Robert Downey Jr. -who said that the armor was “not bad”-, and John Boyega, whose picture using the CoFighter-19 has already been banned in China.
Surprisingly, Lady Gaga stated that she loved the concept, but she is starting to enjoy wearing normal clothes.
Verdict: Still better than Iron Man 3. Far safer than the Russian vaccine. 8/10, wouldn’t recommend its use in Hospitals. Not to be confused with the “CockFighter-19”, a diametrically different product.